


This Wall between us

by anotherouatwriter



Series: Swan Queen Weeks [6]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Berlin Wall AU, F/F, Swan Queen Week, Swan Queen Week Summer 2016, sqw, unsuccessful dragon queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherouatwriter/pseuds/anotherouatwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Emma and Regina - literally - have a wall between them.</p><p>Swan Queen Week Summer 2016</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Wall between us

**Author's Note:**

> Every thing in this story is fictional, including the people, timelines, and situations, except for the Wall and the Soviets - those two sucked.
> 
> \- 
> 
> Vocab you'll need to know: Ossi: East Berliner. Wessi: West Berliner.

You remember how it was before the Wall. Your family and the Swans shared a garden. Well, it was not shared, but you and Emma got along so well that the two families eventually agreed on removing the fences.

Your room's window faced hers, and even after bedtime, you and your favorite neighbor would find ways to talk to each other until your mother came into your room and scolded you both.

You loved Emma, and you were pretty sure Emma loved you too. You always bossed her around, and she'd always tell you that you sound like your mom when she tells your dad to do something. Either of you did not know what that implied when you were children.

Then, the year 1961 rolled in and everything changed.

You were almost ten when you first saw the two soldiers walking around your garden, talking to daddy and Emma's father. The four men were not arguing but the conversation didn't seem like a pleasant one.

Your parents argued a lot about it later. They mentioned the name of Emma's parents couple of times. But, you didn't understand what was happening. You didn't understand why daddy wanted Emma's family to move away. You knew lot of families had moved away, but you didn't want to lose your best friend.

The Swans didn't move away, though. "This was my grandparents' and my parents' house," Emma's father would say. Then, he'd tell your father that the situation was not as bad as it seemed.

On the day of your birthday, you woke up and there was a wall between your garden and Emma's. Her house was now a part of East Berlin and yours of West Berlin.

Your mother tried to calm you down by explaining the situation to you. You were so upset that Emma wouldn't be able to come to your birthday that your mother had to cancel the party.

You never celebrated your birthday after that year.

At first, you and Emma talked over messages that you both threw over the wall. But soon after, they lessened in number and content. You tried to keep your friendship alive, telling Emma about your new school and friends and your favorite subject, but it became too hard to write when Emma didn't seem interested in reading about you.

Your family tried to help. Your mother would buy extra food and send it over the wall. Your father would put a bit of money in the food basket. After the second year, they returned the basket untouched and left a note that said they were not a charity case.

Sometimes, you'd look out of your window, and you'd see Emma looking at you. You'd smile or wave at her, but she never smiled or waved back. She simply walked away from the window.

You noticed small changes in Emma. It was little by little and then all at once. Her eyes didn't shine and her smile was empty. It was fake. You knew that because you knew Emma. She was your best friend. Always has been and always will be.

* * *

By the end of 1965, she was a stranger.

Emma seemed to move on with her life. She was always bringing boys to her room and making out with them while sitting on the window frame. At the beginning, it pained you, but then, all your feelings towards the blonde went numb. The blonde that you once loved was not the blonde living across the street anymore, at least, that was the lie you told yourself every night to sleep.

You started university in the year 1970. After spending one year at your cousin's house in America, you discover that you liked girls like boys do. Your parents didn't mind. In fact, they liked your new girlfriend, Mallory "Mal" Schmidt, so much that they invited her to your family Christmas holiday trip.

Emma was the same old stranger. But now, instead of kissing boys, she was having sex with them. Very loud and frequently, with the window wide open for you to see.

And you wanted to hate her. So much with every fiber of your being.

But you couldn't.

Because every time you looked at her, you remembered a little blonde girl laughing at you and saying, "Gina, you sound just like Aunt Cora!" And, of course, you now understood that Emma was your first love.

During 1974, Emma's boyfriend stopped coming by, and you wondered why. Your question was answered in a few months' time when you saw Emma's growing belly. And, you envied and felt sorry for her, because you wanted what she had and she needed what you had with Mal.

You sent her a note, for good old times sake's. The message was simple and direct, "Are you alright?" The answer was a puzzling one for you, "Go fuck your new favorite blonde and leave me alone."

And you didn't know what it meant because it sure sounded like jealousy but Emma was not gay. And even if she was, you didn't have a chance with the blonde because of all the obstacles, both physical and mental ones. Still, you broke up with Mal.

Mal didn't try to win you back, because she had heard enough about Emma to know that she had lost the war long before the first battle began.

Emma's baby was born in 1975. You cried yourself to sleep when she sent you a message saying, "His name is Henry." Henry, just like your daddy.

Having Henry seemed to bring a little bit of life into Emma's life. You asked her if there was anything you could do to help, and even though Emma never replied, she never returned the goods you sent to her and the baby. You found a bit of comfort in helping your childhood best friend, even though it didn't feel like much.

For Henry's first birthday, you sent him a box of new clothes. Emma sent you a letter. It said, "Please, can you keep Henry? You can give him a better life than I ever will." The ink was smudged in spots and your best guess was that Emma had been crying as she wrote.

You wrote to her that it would be an honor. Because you had never seen the other side of the Wall, but you could imagine how it looked from the stories you've heard. So you planned with Emma. It took a month, because Emma needed to figure out the guards' night rounds and you needed to figure out how to transport Henry from one side to the other.

You settled for climbing a ladder and dropping a basket that was attached to a rope. It was not a solid plan but it was the only thing that wouldn't leave a trace for a soldier to bring Emma to face the justice system.

You remember the stress you went through as you and your parents from the bottom of the Wall as you pulled the rope and brought Henry's basket towards the upper edge of the Wall. You remember how you forgot how to breathe when you held him in your arms. When you looked down at Emma's crying face and she muttered a "Danke" before running into her house.

You made sure Emma saw Henry from your window. And you made sure Henry knew where he came from, who his mother was, and the sacrifice she had made for him.

Emma stopped bringing men into her room. You noticed and your heart rejoiced at that.

You found a job that had the same working hours as Emma's. Because of that, you could be home at the same time as Emma, and she could see Henry as much as she could.

Your mother and daddy died in 1977 and 1980 respectively. By then, all of your family knew you adopted a boy born in East Berlin. Your uncle asked if you and Henry were willing to go to America and live with them but you declined the offer. You couldn't leave, not when Emma was trapped behind the Wall.

So you stayed in Berlin, waiting. Even if you didn't know what you were waiting for. Because the Wall was almost 20 years old and it seemed even much more taller than it originally was when it was built. You didn't know if you'd ever be standing in front of Emma ever again.

You send Emma all of the drawings that Henry made. Once, he gave you a drawing with the three of you with a line in the middle; you and Emma were labeled as 'mom' and 'ma' and the line as 'the Wall.' You cried after you put him to bed that night, because no five year old should live like this.

In 1981, you tried to cross the wall. You were issued a visa and you tried to pass through a checkpoint. You were denied entry to East Germany. It was not uncommon for a wessi to be rejected entry at the border.

You tried again in 1982 and 1983, for Emma's birthday and Christmas. You were denied every single time.

When you went to ask for the visa for the sixth time in 1984, the officer at the embassy told you to stop trying. They'd never let you pass the border because, somehow, they knew you aided a citizen in escaping the dreaded east side of the Wall.

The fact that the government knew you had Henry with you made you fear for Emma's well being. But, the blonde never seemed to be physically hurt or taken into custody.

* * *

For Henry's tenth birthday, you bought him a book on magic tricks. He'd sometimes perform for Emma from your window. You treasure those moments, as scarce as they are, when you get to share with the two people that matter the most to you, something that resembles a normal life.

Henry continued to grow, as handsome and smart as you can expect from someone who is Emma's child. He now writes letters to Emma on his own, telling her about his life. Emma always answers to him and even writes to Regina every once in a while.

He is now old enough to understand the situation in Germany; he is mature enough to understand why Emma gave him up to you. He doesn't resent her. Every night, he asks you about the days before the wall and your friendship with Emma. You're sure that he suspects your feelings towards his mother. He doesn't seem to mind. And when it gets so hard for you to talk and tears build up in your eyes, he holds your hand and tells you, "It's alright, Mom, I'm sure we'll see Ma soon."

You don't know how he can be so positive about it. Because, even as the situation becomes more delicate and the tension can be so thick, you have very little hope of seeing Emma again.

1989 arrives and you believe the situation in Berlin is a ticking bomb. The international community is putting pressure on East Germany and for the Wall to be taken down. You and Emma agreed that it would be better if Henry goes to live with your cousin for a while, until the situation calms down.

He doesn't want to leave you and you want to go with him, but you can't leave Emma behind. Not when she needs you even though she doesn't say it. So you kiss his forehead and you tell him you love him and you promise you'll get him back as soon as Berlin is safe again.

Henry arrives to New York safely and you can breathe a little bit lighter, because at least, one of your Swans is safe from any harm. And, that makes you sleep better at night.

The doorbell wakes you up one day. You look at the alarm clock, it's not even 4am and you wonder what is so important that it can't wait until a more decent hour. The bell rings again and you hurry down the stairs, worrying something bad happened at work or if there's a fire in the neighborhood.

But, when you open the door, you don't see a co-worker nor a neighbor. In front of you is a blonde standing there. She is far too skinny for her health but still beautiful. You open your mouth, but words don't come out.

"I hated you, you know, when I was a kid," Emma says looking into your eyes, "Sometimes, I'd look out of my window and I'd see you there and I would wish it would have been your house on the east side of the Wall. And then, you'd smile or wave and I'd hate you even more. Because you got to have it all and I had nothing."

Emma clenches her fists, a coping mechanism that she had done since childhood whenever she was frustrated. Then, she continues.

"And then you started having other friends, of course you did. I did, too, but I felt like you forgot about me, just like the world had forgotten about us ossies on the other side of the wall."

A tear ran down her cheek.

"When you were gone for a year, I realized I didn't hate you. I realized that I missed you and that I loved you. And, it hurt like a motherfucker, especially when you came back with that blonde who looked like an upgrade from myself. So I just dived into an unhealthy relationship with a horrible man who got me pregnant and left. And, even then, you watched over me, and I realized you never stopped caring. God knows why, because I'm nothing but an ossi! But, you never stopped. I figured the only chance Henry had at a normal life would be with you, because no one deserves to grow up like I did. So I asked for help, and you were so willing to do it because that's just who you are. You give unconditionally, without asking for anything back. When Henry started writing to me, he said his deepest wish was to be a family, the three of us. But, I never gave him hope, because, even though I love you, I am not good enough for you."

She took a deep breath.

"So today, when I heard that the Wall was going to be taken down and checkpoints were open for both sides, I ran here. Because, I needed to see you. I needed to tell you all of this. I needed you to see the ugly parts of me so you understand why I can't see you anymore once both sides of Berlin are mingling and walking around freely. Why you and Henry deserve someone better than a high school dropout who is only good at cleaning tables and serving food."

She looks at you with unshed tears in her eyes and you can't believe that, for the first time in 28 years, you could extend your hand and wipe away her tears.

But, you are frozen in place. Because, when you heard the doorbell, you didn't expect to see Emma and hear this confession.

In front of you, Emma shifts her weight from one side to the other and looks at you, biting her lip like she has always done when she's nervous.

"Well, say something!" she demands but her tone is barely audible and filled with insecurity.

You smile at her, because who's being bossy now? But you don't say that, instead, you step forward and place one of your hands on her face and the other on her hip. And, you whisper a confession of your own before crashing your lips against hers.

"Emma, I love you as well!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts and comments are always welcomed!
> 
> For those following my other stories, I'll update once SQW is done. Sorry for the delay, but I started working at a hospital and it's time consuming!


End file.
